Red and Lala meet Saddam
by Gkey
Summary: Find out how Iraq obtained chemical warfare


Red and Lala meet Saddam

Red and Lala were strolling leisurely around Orange Meadows. They had finished their work and were wondering how to spend the rest of the afternoon. Red was itching for adventure.   
"Do you want to go horseback riding?" Asked Lala.  
"I'm not really in the mood," responded Red.  
"Well, how about…" Lala was interrupted by a strange sound from overhead.  
They looked up. There was an odd rocket above them and it was landing.  
Red stood protectively in front of Lala.  
Several moments after the vehicle landed a short gray bearded man dressed like a wizard stepped, or rather fell, out of the rocket.  
"Well, don't just stare stupidly like that!" The wizard began in his wizard voice.  
Red Butler put his hands on his hips. "Who are you?"  
"I am Sorrel the Sorcerer, the oldest and wisest of all sorcerers."  
Red crossed his arms. "I never heard of you!"  
"If you speak to me in that tone again you'll look like a toad forever!"  
Red laughed and opened his mouth to say something.  
Lala put a restraining arm on Red. Stranger things had happened in Rainbowland and she did not want Red turning into a toad. "Is there a way we can help you?" She asked sweetly.  
"If you can help me fix my space craft I'll grant you one wish."  
Red and Lala looked at each other. Red was a decent mechanic and maybe they really would have a wish granted.  
"Okay," said Red, "I'll help you out. My girl friend and I want to go to Paris for the day and dine at an exclusive five star restaurant."  
"Granted!" Said the Sorcerer, snapping his fingers. Suddenly two pieces of paper were in his hands. "These are your coupons to the restaurant. After you fix my craft you will close your eyes and you will find yourselves in Paris."  
Lala giggled excitedly and took the coupons.  
As Red was tinkering with the craft he heard Sorrel murmuring. "This place looks very familiar."  
"Well, I've never seen you before. I doubt you were ever here," responded Red.  
"Be quiet and fix that contraption!"  
Red was about to reply but he thought the better of it. He didn't want to lose the trip.  
Fifteen minutes later Sorrel's craft was ready. "Close your eyes," he commanded, "in five hours exactly you will return to this spot."  
Red and Lala closed their eyes and felt themselves moving.  
"Good riddance!" Sorrel mounted his newly fixed rocket and was off.

Red and Lala opened their eyes and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings.   
"He did it, we're in Paris!" Lala was ecstatic.  
Red took Lala's arm. "Well My dear, shall we dine?"  
Lala giggled. "Let's go to the Eiffel Tower first."  
They began to walk. Red kissing Lala's hand every two minutes. After all this is France.  
"Uh Red, maybe we should ask for directions."  
Red looked around for someone to ask, there weren't many people in the street and the houses were run down. The people he saw looked weary and hungry. Judging from the way this neighborhood looked they were in an immigrant neighborhood.  
Red tried asking a few people directions to the Eiffel Tower but no one really spoke to him they just looked at him strangely.  
The couple decided to walk on.   
"That must be a local movie star." Lala pointed to a picture of a smiling man in with a moustache dressed in a military uniform."  
"He must be very popular," observed Red, "There are posters of him all over the place."  
A few minutes later Red noticed the eerie silence. Something made him turn around. There were two armed men dressed like soldiers right behind them. Lala saw them and gasped. Before they knew it they were handcuffed.  
Red began to struggle. "Leave us alone. We're entitled to be in Paris."  
One of the soldiers began to laugh. "You're not in Paris," he said in heavily accented English, "you're in Baghdad!"  
Lala gasped, Brian had mentioned this place during one of his visits and she did not recall him saying anything positive about it.  
Red was astounded, he liked adventure but this was ridiculous - wait till he got his hands on that idiot of a sorcerer!   
Red and Lala were dragged into a car. The car took off.   
"Where are you taking us?" Red demanded.  
"To our headquarters," replied one of the men.

Soon the entourage arrived at military barracks. An official looking man began asking questions.  
"Where are you from?"  
"Rainbowland."  
The man narrowed his eyes. "Where is that?"   
Red tried to explain but was interrupted. "You sound American," said the interrogator.  
It was no use arguing.  
Twenty telephone-calls later, Red and Lala were escorted back to the car.  
The car sped off and stopped at a beautiful mansion. Red and Lala were hauled out of the car.  
"Where are we?" Demanded Red. He wanted to hold Lala's hand, to reassure her, but there were soldiers surrounding both of them.  
"Be quiet!" Hissed one of the soldiers.  
The groups walked down several large hallways and entered an enormous room.  
Red and Lala gasped. Sitting there smiling broadly was none other than the 'movie star' in the poster!  
The man with the moustache looked at Lala for a long time. He said something to the man next to him who was to serve as a translator.  
"How old are you, young lady?"  
"Fourteen."  
"Are you married?"  
"N-no."  
"Would you like to be the wife of 'His honor, our leader, President Saddam Hussein?'"  
Red jumped up angrily only to be shoved back into his seat by the soldier who was guarding him.  
Lala was about to faint. That she should marry this person?  
The man addressed Red. "Where did you say you were from?"  
Red answered him.  
Saddam's eyes suddenly lit up. He said something rapidly to the translator.  
"Do you know his majesty's cousin, Murkwell Dismal?"  
"Murky's your cousin!?" Red blurted.  
The man laughed. "How else would we have obtained biological weapons?"  
Red had an idea. "Of course, Murky and Lurky are good friends and neighbors of ours," he lied.  
Saddam nodded.  
"You are free to go but she," he said, nodding at Lala, "stays here."  
That did it. Red forcefully pulled away from the guards and ran towards Lala. Chaos broke out, everyone was yelling.

Suddenly a fuzzy sort of feeling enveloped Red and Lala, they felt as if they were flying, they closed their eyes.

Lala heard birds chirping; she opened her eyes. They were back in Rainbowland. Beside her Red laughed, the stupid wizard couldn't even get his timing to work (thank heavens) the five hours had turned into one.  
The pair stood in silence for a few minutes. Red began to speak.  
"Several years from now Lala, when we're walking down the altar, we'll remember this and laugh." Lala hugged Red and the two walked to the color castle to recover from the ordeal.

The End

Please review, I sincerely hope no one was offended, this story was not meant to be offensive - only funny I hope you enjoyed.


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